Friday, January 23, 2009

How to talk gooder

Found at Across-the-Board: j-walk blog.

  • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  • And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  • It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  • Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
  • Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  • Be more or less specific.
  • Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.
  • Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  • No sentence fragments.
  • Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
  • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  • Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
  • One should NEVER generalize.
  • Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  • Don't use no double negatives.
  • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  • One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  • The passive voice is to be ignored.
  • Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  • Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  • Kill all exclamation points!!!
  • Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  • Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
  • Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  • Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
  • If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
  • Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  • Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  • Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  • Who needs rhetorical questions?
  • Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

1 comment:

Atticus said...

Great blog. Very interesting

Greetings from Spain